Going back!

Whenever i see in the mirror, i find a person,so unfamiliar, staring at me.I don't know who he is.Some scientist in the past said mirrors reflect you.I don't think so.Because this is not me.I wonder what i have turned into.I remember the day when i stepped into college,slightly nervous, not knowing what was in store for me.They say DU is more than studies. I agree!
It's been a long time since i truly wanted to help someone,not because i want them helpless now, but because i ,myself was desperately in need of some help!This statement does not mean that i didnot extend any helping hand ,it just meant that whatever i did,i was missing somewhere,thus not giving my 100 percent.
After two years in college,there are some standards that i am expected to meet, being laughing always is definitely one of them.I donot have the luxury of a quie day,just because people expect me to be always in my cheerful and jovial self.if i failed to do so,they sort of get angry with me.i have experienced this before,and i am sure this can again happen.I have put a mask on me.I will smile what may come,thus parting with my originality.
It is in some time of crisis,that you actually know who all are yours.In my case,there are (were) very few.I donot know if i ever thanked them enough to bear with me,my mood swings and my temper(which it seems is out of my control).I can't say i am very good right now, but i would have been worse if it was not their support which kind of kept me standing.
If i said people around me trust me completely, i would be very wrong.Not that i have not given them enough reasons to trust me, but there is always someone else who is much more trustworthy and they would like to believe in him than me.I am not complaining, but this is one of the reasons i chose to cease being what i was,because it hurts to be treated this way,and i donot deserve this.
As i look back to this stuff,i see lot of complains in life.but it's not just darkness,there's always a silver lining.I almost forgot what it was like to bring a smile on a sad face.anyways I donot like to see anyone crying,even if the person deserved to be this way, but i used to do whatever i could to bring some amount of happiness on that face, which i had almost forgotten.But some recent happenings around me reminded me of that feeling of elation which comes when you see someone smiling.And if the reason is you, that is the icing on the cake.I look forward to doing what i do best.

I will be back!
Nishant!